School, Summer and Randomness

Wow! I cannot believe that it has been almost 3 months since I blogged last! This past semester has really been busy...but such a blessing. =) There is so much to say.. At the moment, I am just enjoying the time I have to rest.. and I mean I have been taking advantage of it! I still have one week, well 4 days, of work left. I'm relieved because I am really ready for time to not be busy... but also I think I'm going to be a little sad because I will really miss the kiddos. The Lord has blessed so many moments with them! He has given me the opportunity to love them and mostly He has given me the blessing of their love and joy! School was tough this semester but I am just glad to be in school. I really pray that the Lord will take me only where He wants me, teach me what He wants me to learn. The week after this one, I will be starting my summer course. It is Research in Early Childhood Edu. It is with our new Professor, I love her! She makes me laugh! The Lord has blessed me and helped me get here.. I just finished my Associate's degree, only by His mercy. Oh seriously, only because each breath is His grace!!!!

He has been opening many doors that He had closed. I just want to have a surrendered spirit, accepting whatever He is willing to give. Sometimes I find myself fighting whatever He is giving or taking away...but He knows best. He is my Abba! I'm very thankful for the relationships that He has reawakened...Wow. I'm so unworthy of His love! I'm just enjoying basking in His sweet, warm, life giving Smile!

Okay... so what to write about? Hmm...

I am currently reading and am almost done with Leslie Ludy's The Lost Art of True Beauty. I love it! I feel that she often reiterates similar concepts and facts but I like it because that really strengthens me as the reader as well as makes me believe that she sincerely believes it. I think her passion really shines through her books and website (www.setapartgirl.com). I also have a few pages left of The Bravehearted Gospel by Eric. These people are very respectable.. they are blessed teachers. I would love to go to Ellerslie. (ellerslie.com) Next, I will finish Sacred Singleness...then maybe revisit Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. <3

This is a random blog but oh well =) I am eating some watermelon and enjoying having my window open and my music playing! I want to live this out = Rejoice in it! (The day that He made!) I'm so glad it is summer, this was the looongest winter ever!

Now on to Spring Cleaning-one of my FAVORITE activities on a day like this!

Praise be only to Jesus!

Journeying...

We are on our way to Albuquerque right now. We're probably about 30 minutes or so from the city. I've been noticing lately that I haven't been as much of a "deep thinker" that I used to be. It feels pretty silly to say something like that.. But what I mean is, I used to pay more attention. I used to notice the small things..I wasn't so distracted. But the Lord just has me at a different place, teaching me new things from a totally new perspective. Neither place is perfect.. Both have positives and negatives.. I'm learning that all that matters is .. Being in His presence where there is fullness of joy and eternal pleasures forevermore! I'm lost no matter where I am if I am without Him.. And I am safe and filled with joy when I am clinging to Him. Thankfully.

May we all learn to be with Him only, at all moments. In complete surrender! Dieing to self and living in Christ!

=)

Coming to the End of Myself

Well tomorrow is the first day of March... ALREADY! Remember it was just January 1, 2010? Remember it was just January 1, 2000?!?!?!?!?! Why does time fly? Why does my life pass me by? Could it be that as Solomon once said, "everything is meaningless"? I truly think this is it...I mean, it is the Word of God, so I KNOW it is right. Ecclesiastes 2:11 says, "Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun." TRUTH. Truth is exactly what this Word speaks to my heart. It takes me back to Psalm 127:1 and 2... "Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat-for he grants sleep to those he loves." Since this semester started..7 weeks have passed... I have worked approximately 100 hours (working with age 4-12), done 12 hours in a 4 and 5 year old classroom, been in classes for about 84 hours (not counting some homework time)... AND spent about less than 10 hours with family... AND waaaaayyyy less with the King of all kings, the Desire of my heart, the Lord God Almighty... What's my point? I have toiled like never before... all is meaningless without Him. Solomon's words ring so true because not only have I felt overwhelmed by it but when I step back for some perspective I realize that I've been spiritually asleep for the whole 7 weeks. When I am far from Him, (He is never far from me, He will never leave me or forsake me, I simply ignore Him-which is so utterly sinful) I am a lost little girl, alone in the dark.. at least it seems that way. But He is so sweet, so calm, so peaceful, so lovely... He gently calls me to Him... I make up my excuses, I'm tired, I have so much to do.... etc. And you want to know the even SICKER part??? I have watched more tv than I'd like to admit... Ug. I'm doing the very thing that Eric and Leslie Ludy have talked about. They talked about how this world, the enemy, and our flesh like to make us believe we are TIRED, we need to VEGITATE, we need some DOWNTIME. But this is a lie! And you know how I know?!? Because Jesus, my Beautiful Christ, He IS REST. He is PEACE, QUIET. There is no such thing as downtime in His kingdom! When we are walking in the Spirit, when He is living in and through us, we are TRULY ALIVE! This is not to say we won't get physically tired, but if our emotions, spirit and mind are really living in Him (as I claim) then we aren't spent at the end of the day. I'm ready for more of Him! I'm ready to tackle the enemy! I'm ready to serve others with no breaks! Oh Jesus! I'm ready to sacrifice all of my belongings and self just to get more time with you...

Have I ever really experienced this? Yes, I think so... for a few moments. That's how I know this so intimately. But have I truly surrendered all to Him? Have I truly thrown myself off that glorious throne of my life so that my King can take His rightful seat? Have I truly said to Him that I am tired of me? No. Not really.

Read these lyrics to "Tired" by Nina Landis:

"I'm so tired of losing my hope.
I'm so tired of sleeping.
I'm so tired of forgetting to trust.
I'm so tired of settling.
Over and over and over again.
Over and over and over again.
Over and over and over again.

I'm so tired of chasing the wind.
I'm so tired of runnin' around.
I'm so tired of compromising.
I'm so tired of failing.
Over and over and over again.
Over and over and over again.
Over and over and over again.

I'm counting on Your mercy God!
I'm hoping in Your grace!
I'm clinging to Your mercy God!
I'm looking to Your face!

I'm so tired of forgetting tomorrow.
I'm so tired of missing today.
I'm so tired of these tears and this sorrow.
I'm so tired of running away!

I'm counting on Your mercy God!
I'm hoping in Your grace!
I'm clinging to Your mercy God!
I'm looking to Your face!

I'm looking past the veil to the other side,
where this skin on me won't be plagued with sin... on the other side.
On the other side,
where redemption lies!

I'm looking past the veil to the other side,
where this skin on me won't be plagued with sin...on the other side.
On the other side,
where perfection lies!"

As He is so passionately and tenderly pursuing me...I will count on His mercy, I will hope in His grace, I will cling to Him! He is so kind. =] I no longer want to toil away at meaningless things... I only want to spend myself on things that draw me and others to Him. I am not saying that school, work, and homework are meaningless, I am saying that without His presence and blessing they are meaningless beyond words. With Him, they are a tool. A tool in His hands! A tool that He may be using to prepare me, mold me, grow me, teach me.... It is a privilege to serve those precious children, an honor to get to know all these people that I work along side of and meet in my classes. I know that it is not in vain when I do it all in His name, in faith! As for tv and all of that, it is MEANINGLESS. It is a waste of time and energy. Lord, please purge me of anything that is not of You, anything that does not give you complete glory and honor!

Re-evaluate what you are spending your time on, you'll find His sweet presence - which is freedom!

My God...

is GLORIOUS and BEAUTIFUL!

His love is better than life, as a deer pants for water, so my soul LONGS for Him. Nothing in this entire world matters.. but Him!

A Jumble of Thoughts

I am certainly not good at time management, prioritizing or being proactive. These are things that the Lord has been working on in me for quite a while.. I think that the biggest and most important lesson I have learned from my Teacher in all of this is that surrendering to Him is the first and most important step. I admit, I am not good at this yet, but I certainly is SO, SO VITAL. I am no longer my own, and neither is my time.

I have about 4 more days left in my break, then it is back to school and classes and possibly a job. I'm excited! I miss people from my classes and miss mostly, the kiddies. (This semester I am going to be placed in a school age classroom, which is a little intimidating, but oh-so-exciting!) I just want to pray for His glorious will in ALL of this... In Jesus' Name!

So because I only have a few more days left, I am working on cleaning and organizing all my stuff. I have gotten to where I do this every time I have a fairly big break. It really helps because during the in-between times, things pile up and usually get jumbled. And in this ongoing process of Christ conforming me to His image, each semester starts and I look to learn more and more how to work for Him (Col 3:23-24) and do everything in His name. I JUST want to make Him smile and please Him! He is my Abba, Daddy, I want to make Him proud! This semester is going to be so great! It is the last one before I graduate with my Associate's degree and Oh Jesus, I just want to make you smile! Oh man!

This break has been fast, but oh so great! He has really blessed my time. Dad, mom, sis and me have gotten to spend a lot of much needed time together which is AWESOME =) With Dad's busy job and Sis living in LC... we needed this time together, face-to-face. Technology is good, but good ol' conversation while looking straight at the other people is so much better. I'd also admit that I got a lot of rest this break... the down side is that in that process, I easily fell back into the staying up late thing... makes it hard to be the early bird that I long to be! But again, back to Psalm 127:1 and 2-in VAIN you stay up late and rise early.... if I am TOILING FOR FOOD (or toiling for something) it is in vain.

So enough with me! The Lord is good, He is holy, His name is Immanuel-God with us! Amen Jesus! Thank you for loving this wretched sinner... You are beautiful!

Scripture Memory

Hello!

I had found Beth Moore's ministry blog a while back... but during Thanksgiving Break I took up reading over all the old posts as well as any they post currently. I love them! They bless my soul and the Lord really speaks to me through what they have posted about. :) So, through this blog, they have developed a big community of women who are supporting and uplifting each other in Christ's name! Which is awesome of course! :) Beth fondly calls them, "Siestas." You can read about all of this at the blog site which is on the side bar of my blog (LPM Blog). Anyways, this past year, 2009, they did a Scripture Memory challenge. All of the women would log on and post what verse they were going to memorize every 2 weeks, on every 1st and 15th of each month. They prayed for each other and supported each other. So by the end of the year (yesterday!) they memorized about 24 verses give or take! I found this time line-2 weeks at a time- and Beth's approach to memorization (RENEW) very refreshing, honest, and effective. So, I started my own 2-week-at-a-time memorization adventure on December 1, 2009. My first verse was 2 Timothy 2:7-"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." This verse gives me victory in Christ! On the 15th, I decided to spend the next few weeks and go over all the past memory verses/passages I had memorized in the past, a few years ago. Going through my bible and just from a brainstorm, I came up with about 22 verses that I had memorized a while back. I took on this many because in theory, I had already memorized them, at least by rote.. So going over them should just be a refreshment. Being Christmas and all, I honestly only went over them a few times and have not yet dug deep into each one, so I am going to spend this next 2 weeks on them again. It's been great to just purposefully get into memorizing His Word. "I have hidden your Word in my heart that I might not sin against you." =)

I don't know if the "Siestas" are going to be doing the memory verses again for 2010, but if they do I am going to join them!

:)

2010

I have created numerous blogs in the past... and I either never wrote or I felt a little silly because I was sure that nobody read it. This time around, I decided to create one and post when I feel I should share something. This may end up being often or hardly ever... either way I sincerely want it to all be for His glory! And if it blesses someone, then that is all I care. So whether I know if anyone is reading or not, I will leave it up just so that perhaps one person may stumble onto the page and hopefully, see Him!

This brings me to right now... it is nearly 11:30 P.M. on December 31, 2009. I am here at my computer, alone with my King. It is EXACTLY where I want to be! I am listening to Isa Couvertier, Misty Edwards, Kari Jobe, Bethany Dillon and Kim Walker. =) Beautiful! I truly want my life to please Him, make Him smile as wide as the east is from the west. Day in and day out, my life is His even when I am living like it isn't. I've had a lot on my mind these past few weeks, as well as tonight as 2010 is approaching. It all comes down to this-Psalm 127:1 & 2 says:

"Unless the Lord builds the house,

its builders labor in vain.

Unless the Lord watches over the city,

the watchmen stand guard in vain.

In vain you rise early

and stay up late,

toiling for food to eat-

for He grants sleep to those He loves.

These verses have convicted me and taught me so much this past month or so. My wonderful friend and sister who is discipling me showed me this passage. The Lord convicted me! This is my life! I take on so much sometimes, and other times, not enough. No matter how busy, I never have been good at using my time well. So my "solution" has been (countless times) to stay up late and get up early. "If I just do that, I will have more time!" But the truth is, it never helps. The bottom line comes down to...I am not being a good steward of the blessed time He is giving me each and every day. I usually am investing in POINTLESS, FRUITLESS, and even DESTRUCTIVE things. So through these verses, the Lord has given me wisdom in making decisions about what I will invest in. Amen! Thank you Lord! So as this new year comes, and just as tomorrow comes, I want only to build the house that He is building! Lord let it be so! And I want to use my time so wisely, He made the number of minutes and hours in each day, so I know that it is not mine to try to manipulate. I am just to follow His Spirit and do all in the name of Jesus! And praise Him, I can ONLY do this in His strength! On my own (as I've tried in the past) is a total loss, it always, always, always ends in failure. I NEED HIM. Period.

So the few different things that I have on my mind that I need to make decisions about, I am praying Psalm 127:1&2 over them. May it only be His. There are a couple different people that have been ministering to me over this past year or two and I am just so, so THANKFUL for them! There is NO denying that my God is sovereign and mighty! How else would all of these people, who do not know each other, totally different platforms and motives all speak the same things to my yearning heart? Because it is HIM teaching me. =) Thank you Jesus, I am u.n.w.o.r.t.h.y. It is Jesus Christ being my King, my God, my Teacher, my Father, my Love!

Praise be only to Him, I am nothing, He is mighty.

Happy New Year :)